Pizzeria Da Vinci - For people who don’t mess around with Pizza.

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE WITH AN ITALIAN ACCENT, IT WILL GREATLY ENHANCE YOUR EXPERIENCE

(Italian lingo is included in this article. Definitions of all the words used can be found at http://www.fanabala.com)

On a quest to find myself a beautiful Italian guidette, I had to stop and think “Where oh where can I find my dream girl?” All of a sudden a brilliant idea came to mind… “All Italians love great pizza!” You see, a friend of mine said to me, “Aayyy…, Mikky, go on over to Pizzeria DaVinci in Hebron, CT. I promise you my friend, you’ll go oobatz! Oh, and that place is full up of comares on the weekends, if you know what I mean, tough guy.” So I hopped in my Maserati and raced off to the only restaurant I’ve heard nothing but good things about.

When I arrived I was surprised to see the boss, out on the floor doing work. I would imagine that his daughter would be getting married, or that he might be out icing some rats. Before I got the courage to talk to him, I took some time to look around the lobby…

I noticed something strange as soon as I looked in the beverage cooler… a rare gem in the world of fine Italian sodas. What I saw was Foxon Park Soda. Foxon produces a number of uniquely flavored soft drinks that range from Cherry all the way to Iron Brew, not missing a note of flavor anywhere in between. DaVinci also sells Gatorade (G2) and bottled water for those who might need to recover their electrolytes or just don’t want anything to interfere with the flavor of their authentic Italian thin crust pizza.

Next to the cooler I saw an ice box… I was shocked when I did not discover a recently whacked zip, but rather some delicious Italian ice made by Mozzicatos, a fine establishment in this network syndicate. The flavors they have available are strawberry, lemon and almond. Being a man of acquired tastes, I went straight for the almond. All I can tell you is that to understand the tremendous flavor, you must try it for yourself.

After building up the courage to approach the capo of this establishment, I was surprised to be met with a friendly, “Hey, how’s it going? … What can I get for ya!?” I explained my situation and told him that I needed to learn more about pizzas to impress the dark-skinned ladies.

After going through the formalities of introductions, I learned the name of this crime-against-other-pizza-restaurants boss… Jim Donahue.

Mr. Donahue was pleased to assist me in my quest for love, and took me behind the counter where I discovered that I had a lot more to learn than I originally thought.

1) Getting the Dough Ready

Mr. Donahue was kind enough to show off his dough-tossing abilities. I have never seen anyone handle such a tenacious substance with the elegance and grace that appeared to come so naturally to him and his administration. After watching this beautiful process, I was instructed to go and clock one of his buttons, Josh Deeter, as he prepared toppings and ensured that the pie was in tip top shape to be placed in the oven.

2) An Incredible Selection of Toppings

Mr. Deeter, a strapping young man, and apparently the coolest cat in Hebron, informed me that there is a selection of nearly thirty deliciously intriguing toppings which include pepperoni, smoked mozzarella, buffalo chicken, artichokes, hot cherry peppers, clams, sun dried tomatoes, roasted garlic and more.

After watching him prepare and inspect an order customized per a customer’s request, I ventured over to the oven where I discovered a quiet, but powerful embodiment of manliness… Matt, whose last name will never be deciphered.

3) Ten Minutes in the Slammer

Mr. Matthew is the warden of pizzas, not even a single shred of delicious mozzarella cheese could give him the slip. Go ahead, I dare you to try and pull a fast one on this tough guy. Just be warned when you wake up remembering the last words you heard… “POW! Right in the kisser!”

During the ten minutes of excruciating heat in the oven, these almost ready to eat slices of heaven are poked, prodded and rotated to ensure the perfect pizza, every time.

4) Ahhh... perfection!

The pizza has been cooked, and is now ready to be sent off to whatever fate has in store. Standing alone, with a sad, yet playful puppy dog look in his eyes, I find JJ. He is the Godson of this fine establishment, and all respect should be paid to him for his ability to slice a pizza into 8 or 12 slices with unerring precision… blindfolded.

After slicing and boxing up these ready to eat delicacies, I saw and approached an amazingly, god-giftedly, jaw-droppingly helpful young lady, Emily De.

5) The Prize

Emily explained how working for DaVinci allowed her to fulfill her dream of becoming a professional salad artisan. She has been trained to prepare 7 mob boss sized salads, all unique to DaVinci and more filling than any other salad I have encountered on the face of the earth. Whether you want Gorgonzola & Walnut, the Tuscana or Leonardo, or just a generically modified tossed salad, you’re in luck.

Top it off with one of the 8 available dressings and you, my friend, have something you’ve never even thought was possible. You have a Pizzeria DaVinci salad.

6) The Other Guys

As I was headed out the door, I heard JJ shout, “Hey! Douuujjje, where do you think you’re going!?” I quickly reached for my piece, in fear of getting clipped, but again, to my surprise I discovered nothing but an extension of the kindness already provided to me.

JJ offered me a buttleg and invited me out back, where he told me about the other meals offered at DaVinci. The shocking variety includes Mozzicatos cannoli’s, calzones, sandwiches, flatbreads, Panini’s, and stuffed breads. All at affordable prices that you would be a fool to deny.

7) Insanitationizm

I know I’m making up words, but if there’s one thing that really knocked my socks off at the Pizzeria, it was the white glove test passing cleanliness of the shop every night before closing.

All the members of this little Hebron DaVinci family are committed to their success and prosperity. They all stay extra time after the end of their shift to make sure their store is cleaned and sanitized to an insane standard that not even the toughest health inspector could comprehend.

Well that’s my summary of my trip... I will never eat pizza from anywhere else, unless coerced by a rival family… And although I may not have found my Italian hottie, I now know where to go to get a bangin' slice of pizza.

Please take some time to check out the links and video below. Who knows, if you look hard enough, you might just find a friendly offering of $2- off any order of $10- or more.