Why I became an Ancient Free & Accepted Mason

My search for light began in 1999 with the release of the first film in ‘The Matrix’ trilogy. When I first watched ‘The Matrix,’ starring Keanu Reeves, I really wasn’t sure what to think. All I knew at that point was that whatever the Wachowski brothers were attempting to convey struck a chord deep in my subconscious.  A seed was planted in my mind that led me to begin my quest for what I consider to be the Holy Grail.

What is the Matrix?

“Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but its there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” -Morpheus

Throughout my life, as long as I can remember, I have always felt a need to find the Truth behind our existence. I often hear young children asking their mother or father what the meaning of life is, but I have found that this sort of thing can’t be put into words.

In the film, the Matrix is a computer program that is designed to keep the human mind under control. Humans are no longer born, they are bred. All humans are hardwired into the program and made to believe that their reality is what they perceive through their senses.

The main character, Neo, is approached by a man named Morpheus. This man offers to show him the truth and Neo is given a choice… the red pill or the blue pill.

“You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” -Morpheus

Neo chooses the red pill and begins the process of being ‘unplugged’ from the Matrix. Neo learns of how the real world had been virtually destroyed by man’s selfishness and self-aggrandizement. After some time of recovery and getting his head a little bit more straight, Morpheus decides to plug Neo and himself back into a program called ‘The Construct.’

Upon entering the construct, Neo is overwhelmed with confusion when he sees that everything seems apparently ‘real.’ This begs the question, “What is real?”

“What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about what you can hear, what you can smell, taste and feel, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” -Morpheus

After going through some basic training programs Neo is plugged back into the Matrix and taken to an elderly Negro woman called ‘The Oracle.’

“Do you know what that means? It means know thy self. I wanna tell you a little secret, being the one is just like being in love. No one needs to tell you you are in love, you just know it, through and through.” -Oracle

Morpheus’s purpose in the Matrix is to find 'The One.' The One will supposedly save the last human city, called Zion, from extinction by destroying the enemy AI robots. Morpheus took Neo to the Oracle to see if he’s the One.

“…you already know what I'm going to tell you … Sorry, kid. You got the gift, but it looks like you're waiting for something … Your next life, maybe. Who knows? That's the way these things go.” -Oracle

On the way out, Morpheus tells Neo that the oracle told him, “Exactly what he needed to hear.”

Karma & Rebirth

After a lot of time pondering the concepts of the film, my interest in Buddhism began to grow. A dear friend and mentor of mine named Jeff Withey had given me two books: ‘Siddhartha’ (by Hermann Hesse) and ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ (by Victor Frankl). I’ll talk about the latter of the two later in this entry.

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.” -Buddha

Siddhartha discovered the truth about reality and created the path to enlightenment. There are two main concepts that need to be mentioned; karma and causality.

Causality is the idea that for every cause there is an effect, the same as Newton’s law: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. When one performs an action, it either produces positive or negative karma. Karma is cyclical, meaning what goes around comes around.

When learning about Buddhism one will most likely encounter the idea known as ‘Samsara.’ Samsara is the constant cycle of suffering. The Buddha has said that in order to reach cessation from suffering, one must be devoid of all attachments, because attachment is the cause of suffering.

The good news in the Buddhist world is that there is an end to suffering. This can only be realized upon reaching an understanding that I will explain towards the end of this document.

Most people interpret the term ‘Rebirth’ as meaning literally dying and then being born again. Although I believe that there is some truth behind that concept, I have no doubt that what the Buddha was really talking about was a kind of metaphysical rebirth.

When one receives what can only be described as the ‘Absolute Truth,’ they initiate the process of rebirth. Upon meditation or sleeping (when a substantial amount of DMT is released into the brain via the Pineal Gland), they purge any misconceptions from their mind and awake feeling incredible. The feeling is like that of waking up from a bizarre dream and then realizing that it was all just a dream.

Buddhism Improperly Applied

So I took on the task of converting myself into a Buddhist and spent many hours researching documents, quotes, sacred texts, speeches, dharma talks and more. I started to come to the conclusion that since Good and Bad are all relative to one’s perception, then it must mean that nothing is Good or Bad and that nothing truly mattered.

I started to act nihilistically and was nowhere near as graceful in my interactions with my fellow man as I find myself to now be. After many months of this type of attitude I finally made the decision to search further into other esoteric, occult and mainstream religions.

The Architect

After realizing that I wasn’t living properly, I spent some time reviewing the second and third films of ‘The Matrix’ trilogy.

In these films more about causality is discussed, as well as free choice. Neo discovers he is in fact the one and begins his transcendental transformation.

At the end of the second film we meet the creator of the Matrix, a man known as ‘The Architect.’

“The first Matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equaled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus, I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the Matrix, she would undoubtedly be its mother” -Architect

The Merovingian

During the trilogy we also meet a character who is called ‘The Merovingian.’ Merovingian is a trafficker of information; he attepts to know as much he can about everything.

“You are here because you were sent here, you were told to come here and then you obeyed. [chuckles] It is of course the way of all things. You see, there is only one constant, one universal, it is the only real truth: causality. Action, reaction. Cause, effect.” -Merovingian

Of course, everyone knows that we have free choice, as is so frequently made apparent in descriptions of Eve eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge.

“No. Wrong. Choice is an illusion, created between those with power and those without. Look there, at that woman. My God, just look at her. Affecting everyone around her; so obvious, so bourgeois, so boring. But wait. Watch, you see, I have sent her a dessert...a very special dessert. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply; each line of the program creating a new fate, just like...poetry. First, a rush. Heat. Her heart flutters. You can see it, Neo, yes? She does not understand, why? Is it the wine? No...what is it, then, what is the reason? But soon it does not matter. Soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. And this is the nature of the universe; we struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretend, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control. [inhales] Causality. There is no escaping it. We are forever slaves to it. Our only hope, our only peace is to understand it, to understand the why. Why is what separates us from them, you from me. Why is the only real source of power, without it you are powerless. And this is how you come to me: without why, without power, another link in the chain. But, fear not, since I have seen how good you are at following orders, I will tell you what to do next. Run back, and give the fortune-teller this message: her time is almost up. [stands] Now, I have some real business to attend to, so I will bid you adieu and goodbye.” -Merovingian

The Oracle and Choice

Neo meets the Oracle once again, wondering how causality and choice work together. He is confused because how can there be more than one Absolute Truth? So the Oracle offers him a piece of candy and he asks the question, “If you already know what I’m going to do, how can I make a choice?”

“Because you didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand *why* you made it. I thought you'd have figured that out by now. “ -Oracle

More Confusion

Pushing myself deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole, I found that although I had an understanding of these fundamental truths, they did not offer any relief due to a lack of proper application.

When one starts researching the occult and esoteric they are bound to come across a number of conspiracy theories and types of alternative research, these topics provoke questions that have caused much discomfort and neurosis in my life.

I started to become heavily involved in the area of alternative news and conspiracy theories. The topics I studied included the New World Order, 9/11 Was an Inside Job, Alien Disclosure, Secret Government Projects, Orden Iluminati, Corporate Control of the Media, and more.

None of these topics really provided any relief and continued my stresses to an even further point.

My Educational Background

I feel it necessary to explain a little bit about my education before I start diving deeper into topics that will give a complete sense of why I decided to become a Master Mason.

My parents had separated when I was a young boy, and I had been living with my Father. I would get to see my Mom every other weekend per the terms of their divorce. My Father has always said that any book I wanted I could have, and provided me with the tools necessary to pursue my own interests.

I watched the James Bond movie ‘Goldeneye’ around age 6 and since then I have always had a desire to learn as much I can about espionage, and eventually, human nature.

I always received A’s and B’s in school up until the end of Freshman year in high school. I had started to find myself excrutiatingly bored in class and my grades started to drop significantly due to my lack of interest. This was naturally a cause for concern for both my parents.

I explained how I felt to them and they enrolled me, at no expense, in classes at Three Rivers Community College. I passed the entrance exam with flying colors and enrolled myself in two courses: Criminal Law 101 and Security 101. I aced both classes and transferred the credits into my high school.

Even though I found mental stimulation elsewhere, my grades continued to suffer because I just didn’t care. At this point my goal was to get out of high school as soon as possible. My dad told me about something called the College Level Examination Program (CLEP). CLEP tests are similar to assessments of prior learning. At age 16 I took two of them: English Literature and Freshman College Composition. I passed both of them and received 12 credit hours.

Three Rivers allowed me to transfer the credits from the CLEP to them, and the trouble began. The program I enrolled in with TRCC meant that I could transfer credit hours from college hours to high school credits. I attempted to convert the hours, but the principal of my school found that unacceptable because I had not actually spent any ‘seat time’ in a class room.

It was then necessary for me to go to the Superintendent and Board of Education in an attempt to justify this outrageous issue. My main argument was that if a college found this as an acceptable program, and you have contractually agreed to accept credits from them in lieu of your own curriculum, then it is your obligation to honor that, regardless of how said credits were obtained.

Anyways, I won the case and was on track to graduate by the end of my Junior year.

Between grades ten and eleven I enrolled myself in a program called LeadAmerica where I studied ‘Intelligence, Defense and National Security’ at the Catholic University of America. I had a blast and gained great insight not only into the operations of our own government, but also into myself.

So I went through Junior year, my grades still nothing remarkable, and I just wanted to get out. The plan was to finish the year with D’s or better and then take summer PE to complete the credit requirements.

Of course, being the person I am, I had the opportunity to travel to Cambridge University for a month during the summer. I took it, and was unable to participate in the summer gym program that would’ve earned my final ¼ PE credit required for graduation. At Cambridge I studied, for a month, the following topics: Shakespearian Literature and the History of International Espionage. I got to see the Globe Theater in person and personally met the Head Historian of MI-5 (Britain’s Domestic Intelligence Service).

I saw nothing wrong with my decision and I considered it the rational choice.  I was told that I had to attend the entirety of my Senior year in order to graduate and was forced to attend a full school day, every day, when the only thing I needed was one quarter of one credit.

I eventually got fed up with the red tape and stopped showing up. The only day I showed up for the remainder of the year was to go to Senior Prom. This really pissed a lot of people off, but it also made a lot of them smile.

I reached negotiations with the administration by the end of the year and eventually received my diploma. Upon graduating I received acceptance letters to both Rochester Institute of Technology and Harvard University. Even though my grades were horrible, I proved my potential and my desire to take initiative to learn what I wanted to learn.

I wanted to let you know all this because I feel that sometimes a prejudice known as adultism is felt towards those who are not as experienced as oneself. I hope you understand that I have often been told that I am educated beyond my years, and that I approach my interpretations of anything that may be considered controversial with great care. I do not wish to offend anyone who may hold different beliefs than me. I am speaking merely from my own knowledge and experiences. I hold steadfast to my own resolutions about what is right and what is wrong, and am now going to explain my own morals and dogma.

Beyond High School

After all of my different experiences learning in many fields I started finding myself obsessed with quantum physics, string theory, holographic universe theory and how they are relative to the modern human psyche.

Man’s Search for Meaning

It was at this time that I read ‘Man’s Search for Meaning.’ I gained an insight into what life in the internment camps in Nazi Germany were like. I got to see the terrible experiences of Auschwitz through the eyes of someone who experienced the atrocities first hand. Here are a couple of quotes from the book that sum it all up:

"Everything can be taken from a man but ...the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” –Viktor Frankl

"The meaning of our existence is not invented by ourselves, but rather detected." – Viktor Frankl

"We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by doing a deed; (2) by experiencing a value; and (3) by suffering.” – Viktor Frankl

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life - daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." – Viktor Frankl

The Quantum Leap

Finally! I had found some rationalization about why I was here! But it wasn’t enough. What I learned about the universe is way too much to post in this article, but all of the fringe science and conspiracy theory ultimately pointed me in the direction of one certain organization: The Ancient Free & Accepted Masons.

I discovered in my search that all one need to do to join the order is ask. I met the usual requirements of being a freeborn male, of lawful age (18 years old), of good report, and belief in God or some higher power.

Initiated, Passed and Raised

I took my degrees fairly quickly and was fascinated by the allegory used to describe the working tools and their purposes. I had already made a couple of close friends and Brothers, who I know I can trust through and through. One of those friends is Frank.

On the night of my Master Mason degree I had absolutely no idea what to expect. The part that sticks out most in my mind is a phrase that goes like this, “Before embarking on any great journey, it is always best to invoke the Blessings of Deity. Up to this point you have had someone to pray for you, now you must pray for yourself.”

That night I experienced what I consider to be what Buddhists call a rebirth. Through the process of enacting Hiram Abiff, I was temporarily in someone else’s shoes. It showed me that a life is a valuable thing to waste, and I felt a tremendous feeling of relief because I finally found the true ideals of life I had been searching for all this time.

At the end of my degree before the close of lodge, my dear mentor and Brother Frank had something special he wanted to say to me:

"There's a world where all are equal;
We are moving toward it fast.
We shall meet upon the level there,
When the gates of death are past.
We shall stand before the Orient;
And our Master will be there --
Our works to try, our lives to prove,
By his unerring square.
We will meet upon the level there,
And never thence depart;
There's a mansion, tis all ready
For each trusting, faithful heart.
There's a mansion and a welcome,
And a multitude are there.
Who have met upon the level,
And been tried upon the square."

– Robert Morris

I went to sleep that night with a feeling of certainty in the goodness of man and felt extremely comfortable with the choices I had made.

Connecting these Scattered Thoughts

The reason I have included information from the Matrix, Buddhism, Quantum Theory,  my Education, and Man’s Search for Meaning is because I feel that Masonry has provided me with the tools to use the concepts from all walks and views of life.

What I’ve discovered is that man has free choice. We can choose to do the right thing. We can choose to help those in need. We can choose to steal. We can choose to attack others. We can choose to be kind. And we can choose to be rude.

The Matrix has one purpose, to control those who don’t understand the reality of their nature. Each one of us has a God Given potential to be or do anything we choose. But here’s the tricky part, we’ve already made the choice, we’re just here to enjoy the ride. In order to make sense of anything in life, you first have to understand why you’ve made the choices you’ve made and are going to make.

The characters and situations of the Matrix are allegorical to all religions and notably Freemasonry. It is no coincidence that the creator of the artificial world has the same title as the creator of our world. The Grand Architect of the Universe (G.’A.’O.’T.’U.’) has created everything perfectly without flaw. The only reason there is suffering in our world is because some of us continue to make choices with the expectation that they will yield the perfect result.

I give it to you strictly that there is no right or wrong, merely our perceptions of them. The same rule applies to all things. An example can be seen in the holographic universe theory; everything we know is simply the result of electronic signals in our brain. However relevant all mathematical and scientific theory may be to anything, it is ultimately irrelevant if it is not applied. There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

In an effort to convey understanding of myself and why someone my age is so interested in the craft, I can only hope that you as well take a look into any one of the topics mentioned and meditate on it. I’m sure that what you’ll find is the same thing I’ve found: nothing I’m saying makes sense because the Ultimate Truth is that the Ultimate Truth can’t be put into words… it is the Lost Word.

I hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by the G.’A.’O.’T.’U.’ with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights men must act upon the square, walk upon the plum and meet on the level. That whenever any Brother becomes destructive or ignorant of these means that it is the right and duty of the Craft and each individual Mason to offer good counsel and provide relief unless it will cause Spiritual or Material injury to oneself or family.

You must attempt to understand your world in order to survive as best as possible. If you still haven’t found what I have found, I can promise that you will. To my Brother Masons, you’ll know when you’ve found it because you will have the same feeling as when travelling and you are asked the question, “Where were you first prepared to be a Mason?”

The Future of the Craft

I don’t know where the future goes, but it is going somewhere. It is apparent that young men are interested because they are searching for the truth. Growing up in today’s world feels so unnatural to many, and I feel that the Craft will profit from the new ideas and expectations of the more recently raised Masons.

I have heard some complaints regarding the conduct of certain lodges… the discussion of Politics and Religion still takes place on occasion. Masonry is a symbol of hope in our day and age, and I feel it is time we stop worrying about our numbers so much, and start doing more in our communities.

We spend too much time on ritual, and not enough time applying the principals we are taught to protect with our own lives. I’ve already met many a Mason who has been off the square, myself included. The remedy to this is quite simple; we all need to just do it.

We can only live in the moment we are in, and plan for the future. It is time we revive true Free Masonry… it is time to live with all the virtues we are taught.

May the blessings of Heaven rest upon us and all regular Masons. May Brotherly Love prevail, and every moral and social virtue cement us. So mote it be.